002 Light: Woman’s Hour

As I was driving home from the airport, I switched on the radio to keep me mentally alert while driving.

I listened keenly as it was Woman’s hour on BBC Radio 4. Well lo’ and behold, the thoughts that were swirling around my head were being voiced by 3 women…

I thought of how the universe was trying to tell me that I was not alone. That some mothers can’t love and unluckily I just happened to be the daughter of one of those mothers.

Having not spoken to my mother or seen her in 7yrs, I had finally plucked up the courage to send a letter the same week, telling her that we do not have a relationship and that we have never had a loving relationship.

Before that it was about what she wanted from me… my attention, but mostly money or a place to stay and drive me mad with her negativity.

I was too scared to tell her to stop abusing me mentally and emotionally as opposed to physically when I was a child.

But I could feel my mental health deteriorating as my self-esteem became lower and my resilience to deal with what life was throwing at me even less so.

I was dying on the inside…

I had to make a decision about the cause of my emotional and mental pain.

At the end of the brief interviews a link was shared.

I now have another place to make sense of my insanity.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s