004 Darkness: Daddy’s girl…

She idolised her father…

He was her knight in shining armour, she idolised him so much and talked about him so much she was once asked if it was an incestual relationship.

She was shocked it came across like that, a girl idolising her father. He was the only parent who showed her what love was. Often taking her out of the house as a child to get away from her abusive mother. Confiding in her (enmeshment), sharing visits to see his other daughter. Except she had to stand outside the house for hours at a time.

It didn’t bother her at the time, she was with her dad away from her…

Then she started getting attention from boys. Visiting her parents during a summer holiday from University (and still a virgin at 22 yrs old) she was called ‘a whore’, when he saw that she getting attention from boys.
She was crushed mentally, psychologically and emotionally that her own father would think of her like that.
In those terms when the only sex she had experienced by then was that of a 9-year-old girl being fiddled with by her much older cousin years earlier.

She recalled it being sexual abbein
She thought he realised he had crossed a line of no return with that one word. He stopped being a knight in shining armour. He too realised this too. He would often be seen lying in his bed in a state of despair. But not enough despair for him to say sorry. It was almost like he was in shock he had said it, they both were, but she was the injured party.
She returned to the UK.
She didn’t speak to him for a year and he died a year after they started speaking again…

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