I have been a slave to my emotions…
I have never actioned-knowledge (hey! I created a new word…), about how to manage them. I was too busy running scared, confused or hiding. A behaviour I learned in childhood. Then, there was no time to learn, there was only an urgency to survive dying. I have known all along I have a choice, but I often forget in amongst the sand storm of emotions.
But yes I have always had a choice. I always have a choice.
Last weekend I upset my daughter just before the performance of her life. I was caught up, yet again in another emotional sand storm ‘panic attack’.
I watched my daughter perform like a professional after being upset. I looked on in wonder at how although she was emotional she choose to do the right thing…
My heart in it’s gladness, swollen with pride and love radiated out to her across the stage. I am not even sure she knew I was in the audience watching her. I wanted to do the right thing by her. One of my pride and joys, one of my other 3 heart beats. I wanted to fully do the right thing by her, but I was in my ‘fight and flight mode.
I learned a big lesson from my daughter that night. This morning that message was synchronized in a message from Bobby in ‘The Hour of Power’ my Sunday morning lessons from my higher power.
I learned that even though I feel emotionally out of control I can still make the right decision. I can learn to manage myself and people’s perceptions of me.
I can choose to heal (fake it till you make it), even though I am not all the way there yet.
I was born with a choice no matter what was done to me, or will happen me…
I always have a choice.