009 So what now? (Colour). Rage against the machine…

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I am smartly dressed, having just finished work I rush into town to return a work shirt I had ordered in the wrong size. I have a friendly chat with the assistants, I leave the shop smiling.

Then I remember the house is without bread. I have been missing my peanut butter and Jam on granary toast in the mornings.

I walk into a mid-upper range supermarket I have been going to for nearly 20yrs. I grab my basket and head for the bread aisle. I make a detour for ceral bars and suddenly become aware of the tatty looking security guard popping his head round the aisle I am standing in. I frown,

‘Is he following me?’ I think,

ah hell no…

I feel my temperature rising.

“I am not going to steal anything,” I say loud enough for him to hear.

“So you can stop following me?”

“I’m not following you”, he says unconvincingly.

I choose my ceral bar and go to get my bread. Who do I see walking past the bread aisle?

“Not every Black person is a criminal, okay!” I say loudly a couple of times while I walk past him.

“I’m not following you Madam.” He says again unconvincingIy, again. Obviously following me now.

I keep walking, telling him to go away in my head. I pay for my bread and bars and leave the shop.

My mood has changed, I am angry, but at the same time I am telling myself to drop it.

I immediately look for the Supermarket’s email to share my experience. I immediately begin to feel better.

I will not obsorb such ignorance I will send it back where it came from. Making the manager aware that loyal, honest to goodness customers should not be treated this way. Raising awareness of sterotyping and prejudice.

I am writing here to release my negativity, but I also remember I have a choice.

A choice to do the right thing even when I am feeling crushed…

I am good enough.

I am enough for myself.

 

One thought on “009 So what now? (Colour). Rage against the machine…

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