I am smartly dressed, having just finished work I rush into town to return a work shirt I had ordered in the wrong size. I have a friendly chat with the assistants, I leave the shop smiling.
Then I remember the house is without bread. I have been missing my peanut butter and Jam on granary toast in the mornings.
I walk into a mid-upper range supermarket I have been going to for nearly 20yrs. I grab my basket and head for the bread aisle. I make a detour for ceral bars and suddenly become aware of the tatty looking security guard popping his head round the aisle I am standing in. I frown,
‘Is he following me?’ I think,
ah hell no…
I feel my temperature rising.
“I am not going to steal anything,” I say loud enough for him to hear.
“So you can stop following me?”
“I’m not following you”, he says unconvincingly.
I choose my ceral bar and go to get my bread. Who do I see walking past the bread aisle?
“Not every Black person is a criminal, okay!” I say loudly a couple of times while I walk past him.
“I’m not following you Madam.” He says again unconvincingIy, again. Obviously following me now.
I keep walking, telling him to go away in my head. I pay for my bread and bars and leave the shop.
My mood has changed, I am angry, but at the same time I am telling myself to drop it.
I immediately look for the Supermarket’s email to share my experience. I immediately begin to feel better.
I will not obsorb such ignorance I will send it back where it came from. Making the manager aware that loyal, honest to goodness customers should not be treated this way. Raising awareness of sterotyping and prejudice.
I am writing here to release my negativity, but I also remember I have a choice.
A choice to do the right thing even when I am feeling crushed…
I am good enough.
I am enough for myself.