“I was a man who thrived on solitude; without it I was like another man without food or water. Each day without solitude weakened me. I took no pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the
room was like sunlight to me.”
― Charles Bukowski
We all have our comfort zones, our familiar places, things, people, but sometimes in the dark we have to, just have to, create new ways of being to survive. Some of those familiars are useful to us, but we have to make redundant the useless.
I am currently reading a historical romance set in Cornwall in the 18th centuary. The protagonist is a tyrant who wants to win over the feisty damsel, who is outspoken and breaks all the rules of decorum. She goes has far has threatening him and he has her whipped, her sister who is jealous of her colludes with him by blackmailing her into going to him willingly.
He tries everything to be in contact with her. Finally he puts on the best act of his life, pretending that he is a humble Lord who is at her disposal. He congratulates himself on his performance. The performance of his life! When the truth is, he could have had his wicked way with her anytime if he chose to, with or without her consent and then move on to the next.
He begs her forgiveness and asks her what she thinks of the past, he wants forgiveness for whipping her. She says it is very ‘powerful’, but that “there is an antedote to the past.”
I would say that antidote is…