#1 Happy Family: Leaving home, breaking point.

My older brother’s story…

I thought it was normal for a child to bang their heads against a wall. But I am older and wiser now and recognise it has deep trauma. Not only was my brother tortured emotionally, mentally and physically he was also dyslexic which back in the stone age of the 80’s was not really recognised.

After years of being called ‘stupid’ abused and intimidated my sweet, gentle, kind, loving  older brother left home at 18 years old. He took me to see my first film Terminator I on his 1st visit back, I will never forget. It was my first trip to the cinema ever because christians did not go to the cinema, we were not allowed to. It was church, school, home repeat… we were never allowed friends round or allowed to go to friends houses.

One day my older brother was told to leave home because he finally stood up to my father and said.

“If you ever touch me again, I will kill you…”

Now for this particular brother to come out and say this, he must have reached his breaking point. His relationship with my father was one of slave and master, as it was for all 3 of my brothers. The only communication that took place was being told what to do, without question or discussion.

It was like walking on egg shells constantly.

After a life time of beatings he had, had enough. He ended up sleeping rough until he found a YMCA that took him for a couple of nights. My father must have felt sorry for him and recommend a friend of his who had a room he could stay in. He stayed there for a awhile and then managed to get his own flat.

I remember this particular friend of my father’s, he made me feel very uncomfortable in the way he would look at me.

I was so happy when my brother left his company.


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