So now I have shared some more background to my life. I hope there is an undetstanding of my views on Family of origin.
I used to put all my energy trying to get everyone together until it started making me ill. I then accepted the inevitable and focused on my own family. It was too late for my marriage, but my kids got all of me.
I however still cannot shed the melancholy. It feels false to do so, it doesn’t sync with my inner world. As a 12yr old I was once asked to describe myself. I said
“serious, but funny”.
I am a contradiction!