Family Dynamics: 21st Centuary Parenting

Talking to my car mechanic today about parenting with my daughter listening and taking part.

He comes out with something quite philosophical and profound by using an analogy of a hardrive to describe the process of child rearing:

When kids are born they are like a blank hard-drive. The minute they are born information is being uploaded left and right into their tiny brains. Has they grow up the pace at which information is uploaded increases tenfold.

Often these children do not get the chance to download any information of their own, because they are constantly being told to:

Be quiet!

Shut up!

Go to your room!

Get lost!

For some children the upload, download process can get corrupted and the child crashes, literally…

This can manifest itself in self harming, binge drinking, overeating, undereating, promiscuity and a sense of hopelessness.

“Then much worse what happens if the hard-drive of the parents themselves are already corrupted and they are uploading corrosive material into their child’s brains.”

If you have ever experienced a computer shutting down or not having internet for a day or week even, you can perhaps imagine the anxiety of these children.

The inability to express themselves verbally, emotional, mentally. The fight or flight survival instinct that kicks in.

But worst of all are the ones who like abandoned computer cases on scrap heaps, who have taken their own lives. They see no way out.

So, parents need to check their own hard-drive for corruption and learn to pause, to listen and give their offsprings a chance to upload. Parents can learn so much from their children too…

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